I Repent


I cannot and will not recant anything, for to go against conscience is neither right nor safe.

Here I stand, I can do no other. God help me.

Amen.

Martin Luther. Germany. 1521


 

A Psalm.

 

I repent of my bigotry, which is not just “out there” but has lived in my heart.

May God have mercy on me.

I repent of my hate for any human being who is an image-bearer of the God I claim to worship.

May God have mercy on me.

I repent of my silence, which has allowed evil to wreak havoc around me, and for believing that it absolved me of responsibility.

May God have mercy on me.

I repent of my fear—so much fear—that held me back from speaking out and taking a stand when I knew that I should.

May God have mercy on me.

I repent of focusing on my ‘personal relationship with Jesus’ at the expense of and as justification for my non-action.

May God have mercy on me.

I repent of violence in all its forms. Violence is antichrist, it has no place in my thoughts, actions, or words.

May God have mercy on me.

I repent of speaking but not acting. That makes me a fraud. Words are empty without action. Jesus and his brother even said so.

May God have mercy on me.

I repent of being self-absorbed, and not absorbing in my body and soul with empathy the pain and struggle of others.

May God have mercy on me.

I repent of the sin of omission and for not seeing it as a horrible violation of my duty as an ambassador of Christ.

May God have mercy on me.

I repent of allowing my privilege to blind me.

May God have mercy on me.

I repent of my ignorance to the problems and issues of others, and ever making it “somebody else’s problem.”

May God have mercy on me.

I repent of preaching the “good news” through a white, male, heterosexual megaphone. I realize much of that news is not actually good.

May God have mercy on me.

I repent of white/male messiah complex. I am not Jesus. I can save literally no one.

May God have mercy on me.

I repent of preaching “forgiveness of sins” without calling for justice, mercy, and freedom for all people and nations. That’s not the gospel.

May God have mercy on me.

I repent of misrepresenting Jesus in my cowardice and apathy in the face of evil; for ever sweeping something under a rug.

May God have mercy on me.

I repent of idolatry, for letting anything other than Jesus be the ruler of my thoughts, emotions, and actions.

May God have mercy on me.

I repent of keeping people at arm’s length for fear of association with their side or their sin. Jesus would do better.

May God have mercy on me.

I repent of judging anyone for sins that were nailed to the cross 2,000 years ago.

May God have mercy on me.

For all this, I am sorry. I mourn, I grieve, and I confess my sin.

But that’s not what I mean.

 

I have turned.

 

I am changed. A new creation. Different today than I was yesterday.

 

No more silence.

No more fear.

No more half-gospel preaching.

No more quiet obedience to being a good Christian and doing all the right things while my brothers and sisters suffer.

 

I am responsible. It is my problem.

We are all God’s Creation. We are the body of Christ. We are in this together. I am with you.

From this day forward, by the grace of God and with the help of my brothers and sisters, I will walk a new path.

 

This is my line in the sand. I can do no other.

May God have mercy on me.

2 thoughts on “I Repent

  1. Tim Russon

    Man, I miss you guys. I appreciate your family letting me and Ryan Hook offer to your house. Those are some of my favorite memories from my mission. Thank you for your faith. The Spirit filled our room as I read this.

    Like

    Reply

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